LIFE CHANGER #1

“Sacrifice More, Receive Less”

It’s not hard for me to remember far enough back when being a successful artist in the music business was just a thought in my mind, and not just a random thought, but one of those thoughts that just never let me go. I think it was possibly even stronger than a desire, it really was like an intuitive notion or knowing of where I truly belonged. And, when I would have the courage to tell someone about this vision I could see for myself, (and I use the word ‘courage’ here because this is truly what I would have to gather within myself just to tell people about this unrealistic idea of mine), I would usually hear that common response that most of us do, which is, “Well, you’re gonna have to make a LOT of sacrifices!”

How many times have you heard this in your own life? And how many times did you let yourself believe it? Maybe today, you find yourself still believing it.

Not only did I take that on as a truth, that I carried as suffering for years throughout my career, but I think I also secretly held it as this noble action! Like it was this magnificent impressive strength that I possessed, that clearly none of these people hanging around me were gifted with!

But, what I perceived as “powerful” in my ability to sacrifice for all the ‘hard’ things I wanted in life, was actually quite the opposite. It was nothing more than my weakness, my lack of courage. Here is why I say this.

The very idea of sacrifice, is that someone must lose, if another is to gain.

It is only our ego mind that tells us we must give something up,

in order to receive what we want, or what I call the ‘give to get’ syndrome we often fall into. Like when we willingly sign a limited, confining, often insulting industry contract that scares us, as long as we get the full attention we think we deserve? Yeah, that almost always works out! ha!

And let’s just take a moment to look at the things we call sacrifice. Power, money, fame, material or physical pleasures....is this truly the source of our happiness and completeness?

If you’ve been in this industry long enough, or in this world long enough, I think we would all agree, that what we are longing for, does not rest in these material things. I know when I had a hit song on the radio, the phone ringing off the hook, more money than I’d ever seen in the bank, and a BMW in the driveway, I was completely closed off to to my true self or any genuine joy for most of that experience.

So if these material things aren’t even ‘real’ or a true source of Love we can draw from, then what are we sacrificing all this for? Who is teaching us to choose ‘nothing’ as a substitute for everything!? I feel the world and our society, gives the idea of ‘sacrifice’ all of it’s meaning, but from a spiritual perspective, sacrifice is a meaningless word.

Is it a sacrifice to give up pain? Is it sacrifice to release guilt? Is it sacrifice to leave another in order to gain more of yourself?

I think if I were still living in Logan, KS today with the other 400 people, working a job where I wasn’t needed to use all of my gifts, isolated from live music, and other artists, entertainment, and even movie theaters - the very things in life that inspire me and make me feel human - I’m not sure that would have been my ‘easier’ choice!

And this goes both ways for us, doesn’t it. Often WE are the ones demanding sacrifice from others! Like, as artists, we can work ourselves up into thinking, “Well, if I’m willing to sacrifice my relationships, and my family, and my free time to work 24 hours a day, performing, recording, touring, & promoting, then you should be more than willing to sacrifice a few extra bucks!!” Ha!

Or we especially do this in our relationships, personal and professional. “Look at everything I sacrificed for YOU! Now, it’s only right you sacrifice for me!” And we all know where that conversation ends, right? Usually, it ends at the ending of that relationship!

And this is because there is no such thing as sacrifice. We do not have to pay a price for God’s love or favor in our lives.

Sacrifice holds no power, no weight, or wisdom for us.

What does hold these things, is the power of CHOICE.

At every moment we have a choice to make. And at every moment, we are making these choices. All of them equally important. And with every choice, comes an intention. Whether you are conscious of it or not, we are choosing out of love (for ourselves & others), or fear. Never both. Don’t fool yourself on this one.

Love and Fear do not exist at the same time, ever.

That’s like saying a fully lit room can still be a little bit dark.

When I was 18, I left my home, my family, and my friends I had done everything with since I was 3 years old. I was told I was going to have to sacrifice that in order to have my career. And I did. I let go of the necessity of relationships, the importance of keeping people close, especially the ones who really knew me without all the success, the very relationships I could have really used during my years of isolation as a determined Artist working her way up the ladder.

I wish someone would have told me then, I could have both...

It would have been a life-changer for sure.

So I guess that’s why I feel encouraged to share this important message with you today.

We can have it all guys... Just get clear on what it is you want, and make sure you include something in that list, that can actually offer you not only the experience, but the love, the happiness, the true completeness of self that you desire.

And I wish you the COURAGE that it takes in the end, to make those powerful choices for your life.

And don't forget to...EXPECT A MIRACLE